From Great to Better

The season of resolutions is in full swing!

We all know a new year is that time people declare as a new start. It's the opportunity so many see to make a "better effort" with their health or careers or personal lives... It's natural.

Over the last few years I've tried to set goals instead of making "resolutions." I made an effort to focus on making improvements with my mind, body, and spirit... Of course, it turns out I was a little over-zealous and the sum of the total wasn't terribly realistic. Like most people at the new year, I had the best of intentions!

2014 was a great year. And so I decided as this new year approaches that I want to take things from great to better.

I know it won't be easy to measure, but I'll know it when I feel it, and that works for me! This past year was full of brief trips, seeing family and lots of football, finishing my masters degree, and running my own business. Notice the order I put those in? I have priorities!

It was a great year and my hope is 2015 will be even better. I also wish the same for you.

Be a Doer

I think there's an epidemic afoot. This epidemic is called being stuck. What makes people stuck? Part of it is fear. Fear of failure, fear of success (no, really), fear of the unknown… or all of the above.

What I hear from people A LOT is "you're so lucky" when referring to my travels or the sporting events I attend. Lucky? I struggle with how to take that because I know I'm fortunate, but luck has nothing to do with it. I work hard for one, but I'm also a "doer."

So many people sit on the sidelines and watch other people do. I'm not saying people don’t have financial struggles or reasons for not being able to "do" things, but I strongly believe it's possible for everyone to DO.

Game 5 NLCS Giants clincher last week!

If you've always wanted to get to Europe? Create a plan to get there. Figure out when you can get off of work and for how long, get estimates on how much it's going to cost… And start to save. If attending a baseball playoff game seems like an impossibility? It isn't. I simply got online and found tickets I could afford. Period. There's no secret sauce! 

The thing is you can apply this to all parts of your life. I'm reading a book right now by Jen Sincero called "You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life." There are so many quotes I could share, but one that stands out is this: "Living a life on purpose is available to everyone." It's the notion that things reveal themselves through doing and not thinking. Everything you do along the journey contributes to where you want to "get"… I learned early in my career that it's about the journey and not the destination. Trust your gut and make your move!

I know I don't have certain things that might prevent me from "doing," but I also create opportunities for myself because I'm a doer. The next time you find yourself thinking "Man, I wish I could do that," STOP and ask yourself WHY not? You might just discover that you can, and perhaps you can get unstuck and be a doer too.

“New Media” Brings New Identity Theft

Everyone's aware of what "identity theft" is and how devastating it can be. It can take forever to straighten things out with all of your accounts and even longer to clear up your credit record. It's SO pervasive because of all the online access hackers get, and other ways thieves can get access to our money and identities. Because it's so pervasive, there's lots of help out there when it occurs. 

But what about the theft of a persona? The theft of a person's face, via photographs and an online profile? As my friend Kim stated today, "The laws have not kept up with technology"… too true. It appears that by having our photographs on the Internet we are all opening ourselves up to theft of our photos. Of our selves. 

For months—or maybe even years—some person or group of people have been using a collection of my photos and portraying themselves as me. Not with my name, but with my face. It’s my face that's out there and has been trying to commit fraud (though, I'm guessing they have had some success or they wouldn't still be doing it), and pry money from unsuspecting men on Match.com. Apparently it's called a "Romance scam." 

And it appears there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. I haven't been on Match.com for 2.5 years, but I first learned of this happening nine months ago… Unfortunately, Match says there's nothing they can do about it other than remove a profile. But what's to stop the thieves from creating another and another? Nothing.

When I told my Dad the San Diego Police Dept. came to my door today as a favor to the Sunnyvale PD because they couldn't reach me, and someone was pretending to "be me" he said, "I've never heard of such a thing." Of course not, because the Internet brings with it its own special version of violations and crimes! 

Img credit: blog.fanchimp.com

It's one thing to use an image that is copyrighted without giving credit—and that is difficult enough to manage… But using a person’s total image as their own? It simply HAS to be a crime. How many other people is this actively happening to as I write this? 

When is the law going to catch up to not just be concerned with the "money fraud" part of the equation? I believe a crime is also being committed against me.

Ain't No Shame

Sometimes I write when I want to get a professional thought or perspective out there. Other times I write when my heart tells me to. Today my heart yelled at me.

Everyone's trying to make sense of the loss of the late, great Robin Williams. But we won't ever make sense of it. We might come to grips with it, once the healing has started, but depression is a tricky beast. I was first touched by suicide in high school when a friend’s brother took his life. I thought it was so selfish. I was young and naive at the time, but this is a sentiment I've heard many times since then. Included among those times was when I was in a regional leadership role for my sorority when a collegian in one of our chapters committed suicide in 2006. And when a good high school friend took her life in 2009. And again when my friend's husband took his life in 2013. I've come to learn that it's an illness—depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain and so many more people suffer from it than we even know.

While I personally have never been clinically depressed, I have had some VERY low lows. The lowest came when I was a sophomore in H.S… and other lows have come and gone, but I know it’s NOTHING compared to what people who are truly sick experience. That’s the thing – depression IS a sickness. It’s nothing to be ashamed of because it’s a sickness, just like addiction is. When struck with both? What a horrible combination—a vicious cycle for so many—most of whom we’re familiar with because they’re famous. Chris Farley, Heath Ledger, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Robin Williams… Sadly, these names came to mind VERY quickly, but there are so many more. These people I just listed might have touched our hearts with their talents, but there are one in ten other folks out there who are "regular Joes" and "Jills" who suffer without us knowing.

Circa 80-something - the good 'ole days... Me, Mindi, Tracy, & Sarah 

Have you considered reaching out to someone in your life who you worry about? Or do you hold back for fear that you'll hurt their feelings or because it might hurt your relationship? I know I have someone in my life whose depression I worry about all the time, but I've never really said anything. I worried about my brother Terry's alcohol addiction, but I never said anything, and that slowly killed him. Not that I could have changed it, but I do wonder.

I briefly worked for an ad agency that has the task of supporting a local San Diego county (www.Up2SD.org), and now a statewide (www.suicideispreventable.org), campaign to help recognize mental health challenges in others and ourselves. What important work this is! It's so awesome that government funding is going towards this very important cause. Hopefully it will make a difference.

If you or someone you know needs help or support with depression or addiction, please speak up. But also know THIS: All you can do is try. If something happens with them, it’s not your fault… They say there is no "try," there is only do or don't, but that doesn't apply here – TRY, try, and try again.

Captain My Captain, you are missed - #RIPRobinWilliams. And so are you, Chris, Stephanie, Mindi, Thad… and all of the “regular” people who have left us far too soon.

Visit the Websites above if in CA or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org nationally… Or call this national suicide hotline number: 1-800-273-8255. There is HELP out there – you DO matter – and there is ZERO shame in raising your hand to ask for help for yourself or someone else. Please do.

Dating Tips From a 5-Year-Old

The pic's a lil' fuzzy - us at the Roller Derby rink!

You know the saying, everything you need to know you learned in Kindergarten, right? Well, I recently babysat my friends' 5-year-old son, and I joked that it was the best date I had had in quite a while! No, but seriously. 

He was game for everything… 

• He let me take him to see my friend's Roller Derby match (and agreed to stay about 10-minutes longer than he cared to)… A compromiser. 
• Wanted an Icee and shared it with me… A sharer. 
• When he asked what else we were doing, I said we would get dinner and he wanted pizza… Great taste in food, even if he preferred Pizza Hut over any other kind of pizza (my compromise). 
• He then asked if we could watch a movie and he let me pick it (we agreed to watch Star Wars ;-) ). 

He was genuinely interested in learning about ME… 

• He asked what I do for a living. Explaining what marketing is to a 5-year-old was a challenge, but I think I did an okay job. His response? "I think you should do something else for work" – to which I asked “Well, what do you think I should do?” He responded with both the professions his Dad and Mom work within… And we had a chat. 
• He also asked where I live – and then asked if I'm friends with my neighbors. 

HE'S 5!! 

I truly can't recall the last time I had someone who was really interested in learning about me in such a genuine way. Of course, these aren't just lessons in dating, but in life, and I really appreciated the sweet little evening I had with my smart new boyfriend Gabe. 

Oh, and he was right about the pizza, by the way, and didn't rub it in too much – just gave me the "yumm-o" lifted eyebrows and said "I told you." 

Touché.

Dividing My Mind Time

I suppose that sounds like a silly title, but this is something I've been meaning to write about for a while. From September until the beginning of May I was a contractor (Marketing), who turned entrepreneur/business owner, and a graduate student. My clients are a restaurant group (three restaurants) and a software company start-up in the "events industry." 

Every time I attend a Webinar, or a face-to-face conference, or read a blog, I'm constantly struggling with where my mind goes and how to apply what I'm hearing! My personal business is different from both of my clients and they are very different from each other. Add in that little thesis project required for my Masters Degree graduation and it was a very challenging bunch of months. 

Perfect example: Listening to a podcasting speaker at 

Social Media Day, and I wrote myself a note to write this blog!

I hear a great idea and my mind explores how to apply it for a certain situation, but then I stop and wonder—what about the other client? What about my business? People have suggested I "carve out a niche" client-base, which would help solve this problem a little bit, but I love the variety. Just as my career has been a potpourri of duties and industries, that's also how I would like my consulting business to be. 

Being able to apply my expertise in a variety of industries to help solve my client's business needs is part of why I'm so enjoying having my own consulting business. 

SO—I think this is the first blog I've written where I don't have a (potential) resolution. I would love to hear comments / suggestions for how we can all "divide our mind time"… 

Any tips or tricks? Let’s hear it! 

Showing Up – A Lost Art

I’m going to try and write this without sounding bitter. But I’ll be honest – I'll probably have to spit out the lemon by the time I’m done. 

There’s so much chatter (be it written or verbal) about how people aren't actually talking to each other any more. Everyone, even in the same proximity to each other (at a bar, at a restaurant table, etc.) seems to be on their phones. We also aren’t actually talking on our phones anymore. Phones are primarily used for texting, email, taking photos, and social media. 

As someone who makes the bulk of my living from social media, I get it. I am 100% guilty of all of this about 98% if the time. But, why are people responding to a voice mail with an email or a text? WHY are people RSVP’ing (or not RSVP'ing at all) to a real-live, in-person event and not showing – with zero explanation? 

Here’s a suggestion: SHOW UP. 

I haven’t had a wedding. I haven’t had any babies. But I have shown up for most of the showers, bachelorette parties, weddings, baby showers, “sprinkles” (have to admit – that one is lost on me), and milestone birthday parties (or weekends away) I've been invited to. Do I do that because I feel obligated? Do I always have nothing else to do on those days? No, I do it because I value the human interaction and celebrating milestones & achievements with those who are important to me. And I understand it is important to them.

I suppose there’s a pecking-order for what people consider significant life events. My milestone birthdays are important to me. My master’s graduation party was important to me. I don’t think people didn't “show up” because they didn't want to be there or that it had anything to do with me personally. They prioritized something else over my celebration and I get that happens from time-to-time. 

It should be reasonable to want people to show up, right? Especially when they said they were coming?

Here’s a suggestion: If you don’t show up, make an effort to let the host(s) know. 

And, finally, take a minute to think about the occasion and whether you really need to skip an event because of the reason you have before you… and know that simply showing up can really mean THE WORLD.

Now What?

Photo credit: Gonzaga University

I have graduated. Again. The consistent question I'm getting from people who learn that I've just earned my master’s degree is "Now what?" I have to say, it's a question I didn't expect to be asked so much! For the most part, my answer is "More of the same, I suppose... with some more letters on my resume." Having my own marketing consulting business has been invigorating in many ways. I very much enjoy being able to choose who I want to work with (who knew turning down business would feel so good?) and making my own schedule is amazing! I enjoy the variety and the flexibility more than anything.

What I think I'm most excited about in finishing (though, if I'm honest, it hasn't really set in yet that I am DONE!) is having more time to get organized and sort of re-set... Deciding how many new clients to take on and truly figuring out how many hours I have to give is the next task at hand, and I have given myself a couple of weeks for that.

But! An unexpected side-effect of sending out my thesis survey is that I may have potential job opportunities because of it! It got me thinking how much I also love being part of a team and how putting brain-power together to strategically support clients in their business endeavors is also very satisfying. I have commitments to my current clients... So how could I get the best of both worlds? Could this new opportunity also be a consulting client of sorts? I'm both excited and nervous about what the future holds!

I pursued a masters degree because it's something I've *always* wanted to do. I did it with the intention of getting out of sales and into marketing communication again... which was a windy road, but one I accomplished before I was done. Through the MA program at Gonzaga I grew and learned so much about myself, about communication, and how to apply the learning within the different business environments I've been working in and that is like gold. 


Graduating with a 3.92 - summa cum laude - is extra icing on the cake!!

So, what is next? I'm considering pursuing a PhD... Dr. Powers sounds pretty darn cool, doesn't it? I'll figure it out and continue having the philosophy that 
I've tried to instill in every person I've mentored - it's not about the destination, but the journey! 

What a journey it has been and I am thoroughly enjoying it... Bring on NEXT.

Communicating VALUE – A Study of Tradeshows Face-to-Face vs. Online

In a class early on in graduate school the question was posed whether computer mediated communication (CMC) is a "richer" form of communication than face-to-face. At the time I was working in sales for an audio-visual production company, and I've worked within the tradeshow industry in one way or another since 1999, so the value of face-to-face meetings is close to my heart. 

I discovered I was a “relationship” sales person through those face-to-face experiences. I built relationships through these encounters at tradeshows/conferences/conventions and from those experiences I got the opportunity to bid on business. What resulted from that was 80% of the RFPs I received were from people I had met in person and about 90% of my business came out of those relationships--$2.5 million in booked business my final year there. One client in particular was known as one that was “impossible to get a chance at”—I sat with this client at the final luncheon at PCMA in New Orleans and later received an RFP that truly changed my career. 

Photo credit: sxsw.com

I'm sure that I am a better person both professionally and personally because of the relationships I've developed as a direct result of attending events face-to-face. At the same time, I'm earning my masters degree online and making my living right now, mostly, from strategic social media marketing—an online environment where relationships are also developed and fostered. Clearly, I see value in both, so I set out to study whether CMC, face-to-face, or a combination is the solution.

As we all know, conventions, conferences, and tradeshows are held for a variety of reasons. The study developed for this thesis focuses on the relationship-building and commerce that occurs at tradeshows in particular—where both buyers and sellers have the chance to speak face-to-face in social and professional environments about the potential of working together. 

Very little research has been done to study how we communicate in the face-to-face environments of tradeshows, so I felt compelled to focus the spotlight on what the value is of the two options. 

Participation in my thesis survey will help us understand the opinions of those who participate in tradeshows—to understand the importance of the relationship-building and commerce that occurs in person and/or online. The results will inform what we can and cannot accomplish in these different environments. 

Due to time constraints I need to close the survey at midnight tonight (PST), 4/12/13. 

Survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/tradeshow_thesis